an update .

if only i did not have exams on monday i would go singing with Desmond they all ): BIG SIGH! anyway, im feeling darn shitty now can. i thought that every single souls dont understand me its alright and i thought you will not be the same. but sadly . you are i dont know where to start but speaking of this just made me feel so disappointed let just made it straight to the point. if you do not want to come to my house, its alright. i feel like im forcing you to come, really. everytime i asked, the answer i get is always dont know, see first or what so ever i feel like just asking you to NOT to come. if you are not really, not anxious, not sincere, dont care. what for come! its not like you are the one that take the initiative to say that you are coming and for this, i know what kind of person you are. you dont care. you dont dare about how i feel. like i said, we have been together for 11 months on the dot and my parents haven seen a bit of your face. i felt so (arghhh) !! pathetic . i really cant understand, i guess i think too far, too far into the future nobody can be sure that we will be together forever maybe its still not the time yet ? im really disappointed by how he answer me just now. the way he answer really pissed me off it was only a suggestion to go to my uncle's place . only. i knew what your answer was but im being stupid to ask. really. what am i to you . i guess at a point of time, i really need to think.. "what kind of boyfriend i really want" no wonder, someone told me at 18 . their mindset changed.